remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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