i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
