Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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