Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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