just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
