I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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