They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
