Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
