My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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