sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
