I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize