Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
