no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
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i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
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she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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