my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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