someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
