I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
