Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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