Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize