hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
