i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
