just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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