if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
