Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize