Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
