its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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