i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
