I hate your face
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He kissed a someone with a penis
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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