Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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