She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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