Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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