I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!