and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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