anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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