My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
