Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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