wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
