is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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