this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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