I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Randomize
