from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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