some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize