i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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