I'm drive I can fine osifer
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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