Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
