One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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