Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
