I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
His nipple licking is glorious
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