You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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