I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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