Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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