Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
