I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
