Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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