it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Come back. Shots need mouths.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
