Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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