Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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