i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize