why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
