Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
