ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Randomize
